Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda

As soon as I sat in my Orchard Cineplex seat, I knew I had purchased the wrong movie tickets. There were lots of ang mohs and worst still, the theater was full of spoilt kids who kept saying "funny" throughout the movie.

I didn't see anything funny about Kung Fu Panda. The movie was a very serious movie about a young man training to be a top shaolin killer monk disguised as a panda. Jack Black was very good as the Kung Fu Panda though his costume looked rather funny. Maybe that was what those loud and noisy kids were referring to when they said: "funny" "funny" "funny". Oh shut up, you spoilt bratty kids.

Anyway, the movie turned out to be very good with very realistic and dangerous martial arts stunts though I was disappointed that the dialog was not in Chinese. I had to read the Chinese subtitles to find out what the damned heck the actors were saying. This is damned hard to do as I am English educated. How can you make a Chinese kungfu movie without Chinese dialog? Those idiots from Hollywood!

I tried to copy some of the lighting kung fu moves during the show. Unfortunately, some of my popcorn flew into the air and landed on some of the kids which made them say "funny" "funny" even more. These kids sure have a very limited vocabulary.

I tried to ask for my money back after the show on the grounds that it was not a Chinese kung fu movie. The theater management said "no" unfortunately and asked me to please go away. So be warned. This is not a Chinese Kung Fu movie in spite of what the advertisements say.

However, I may rent the Kung Fu Panda DVD to learn some of the excellent eeeee-ha! kung fu moves. This may come in handy when I meet any beggars from overseas poising as monks along Geylang Street. Begging is illegal in Singapore. Please contact me if you see any of these beggars on our streets. We don't need these kind of foreign talent in our clean and green land.

On the way out, I saw a Lamborghini causing noise pollution and racing down Orchard Street with a Singapore police car in hot pursuit. Life is good. - Kok

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